Beginnings: Introducing Me
Hey lovelies,
If anyone thought of the song Nick Jonas sings in Camp Rock you know exactly what I am thinking about as I write this. I'm currently on a train, however; lo and behold I forgot my headphones. Writing works in times of desperation and excitement.
Okay, now to what this is actually about.
Hi, my name is Cierra or Ciaran, but most people call me Ci (pronounced like the Spanish word for yes, so help me Satan if someone pronounces it as "sigh" one more time). I'm genderfluid and prefer they/them pronouns over others, but she/her or he/him work for days I feel masculine/feminine. I'm also pansexual and slowly learning that I'm polyamorous. Right off the bat, you can tell I'm very gay. This will be a recurring thing here, because if I don't have a rant about a cute guy/gal/non-binary pal then I don't know who I am anymore.
I'm currently a freshman in college. Let me tell you, college is already so much better than high school. I used to have zero motivation to get out of bed in the morning. I was constantly bullied. Half of my school was extremely homophobic and racist which is against the things I stand for. My depression and anxiety were at an all-time high. I never felt safe in high school because I was constantly threatened. I had very few friends. My best friend was a grade above me, so my senior year I didn't have them with me. Then this magical thing called "graduation" happened and my mood did a complete turn when I was out of that toxic environment. College is already a lot better social-wise. The workload is more, but I'm happier and ready to take on.
Some people know that I don't have the best situation with my family. I won't go into details in case someone stumbles across this, but it's not pretty and I'd never wish it upon anyone. I go by the mentality that "I can choose my friends, and I can choose my family". Family isn't defined by blood. It is those that love you, support you, and will sacrifice for you. I count a lot of my friends as family and have both father and mother figures included in those that love me. I can't be grateful enough for them because without them I probably wouldn't have made it this far.
Before I stumble into the basics, let's talk about the things I'm passionate about. Mental health education/resources are one of the biggest things I advocate for. I personally have several mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, OCD, PTSD, and eating disorders. They have affected my life, I know it affects people I love and I want to make sure everyone has a chance to receive help and the treatment they need. I advocate for equality. I'm active in both Feminism and the Black Lives Matter movements. The LGBTQ+ community is my home and I will always fight for our rights. Finally, the fine arts are my biggest passion. I'm going to college for music education, music is my personal passion. Knowing that schools across the country and the globe are cutting fine art departments breaks my soul. Music is what got me through all of my life. It was the only thing I looked forward to in high school and knowing that kids don't have access to learning and opportunities in the arts is shattering. I'll do whatever I can in my power to keep the fine art programs in the schools in the communities around me and across the country.
Now for the basics. My favourite colour is red. I love Nightmare Before Christmas. My favourite band is Bring Me the Horizon. Don't ever ask me to pick a favourite song, because I can't choose one. I love to sing, read, draw, dance and write. I'm a nerd and love video games, Marvel, DC, and everything in between. My favourite hero is Deadpool. Favourite villain is Poison Ivy or Loki. Fall is my favourite time of year. Halloween is my favourite holiday. I still love Disney movies and will never stop loving them. I want to move to Washington or Oregon. That is my dream place to live. Once I'm passionate about something I won't quit on it. I love the people around me. I never thought I'd make it past my junior year of high school without my friends.
That's all the time I have to write. See you next time!
Love,
Ci
If anyone thought of the song Nick Jonas sings in Camp Rock you know exactly what I am thinking about as I write this. I'm currently on a train, however; lo and behold I forgot my headphones. Writing works in times of desperation and excitement.
Okay, now to what this is actually about.
Hi, my name is Cierra or Ciaran, but most people call me Ci (pronounced like the Spanish word for yes, so help me Satan if someone pronounces it as "sigh" one more time). I'm genderfluid and prefer they/them pronouns over others, but she/her or he/him work for days I feel masculine/feminine. I'm also pansexual and slowly learning that I'm polyamorous. Right off the bat, you can tell I'm very gay. This will be a recurring thing here, because if I don't have a rant about a cute guy/gal/non-binary pal then I don't know who I am anymore.
I'm currently a freshman in college. Let me tell you, college is already so much better than high school. I used to have zero motivation to get out of bed in the morning. I was constantly bullied. Half of my school was extremely homophobic and racist which is against the things I stand for. My depression and anxiety were at an all-time high. I never felt safe in high school because I was constantly threatened. I had very few friends. My best friend was a grade above me, so my senior year I didn't have them with me. Then this magical thing called "graduation" happened and my mood did a complete turn when I was out of that toxic environment. College is already a lot better social-wise. The workload is more, but I'm happier and ready to take on.
Some people know that I don't have the best situation with my family. I won't go into details in case someone stumbles across this, but it's not pretty and I'd never wish it upon anyone. I go by the mentality that "I can choose my friends, and I can choose my family". Family isn't defined by blood. It is those that love you, support you, and will sacrifice for you. I count a lot of my friends as family and have both father and mother figures included in those that love me. I can't be grateful enough for them because without them I probably wouldn't have made it this far.
Before I stumble into the basics, let's talk about the things I'm passionate about. Mental health education/resources are one of the biggest things I advocate for. I personally have several mental health disorders such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, OCD, PTSD, and eating disorders. They have affected my life, I know it affects people I love and I want to make sure everyone has a chance to receive help and the treatment they need. I advocate for equality. I'm active in both Feminism and the Black Lives Matter movements. The LGBTQ+ community is my home and I will always fight for our rights. Finally, the fine arts are my biggest passion. I'm going to college for music education, music is my personal passion. Knowing that schools across the country and the globe are cutting fine art departments breaks my soul. Music is what got me through all of my life. It was the only thing I looked forward to in high school and knowing that kids don't have access to learning and opportunities in the arts is shattering. I'll do whatever I can in my power to keep the fine art programs in the schools in the communities around me and across the country.
Now for the basics. My favourite colour is red. I love Nightmare Before Christmas. My favourite band is Bring Me the Horizon. Don't ever ask me to pick a favourite song, because I can't choose one. I love to sing, read, draw, dance and write. I'm a nerd and love video games, Marvel, DC, and everything in between. My favourite hero is Deadpool. Favourite villain is Poison Ivy or Loki. Fall is my favourite time of year. Halloween is my favourite holiday. I still love Disney movies and will never stop loving them. I want to move to Washington or Oregon. That is my dream place to live. Once I'm passionate about something I won't quit on it. I love the people around me. I never thought I'd make it past my junior year of high school without my friends.
That's all the time I have to write. See you next time!
Love,
Ci
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